Parijat

Parijat
Written by Dana Kumari Sunar

Today, every moment,
I find myself remembering you, Parijat—
sometimes you within me,
sometimes me within you,
experiencing a feeling
like a mixture of blood.

I, who could never encounter
your complete physical body of flesh and bone,
still carry the longing
to hold you close in my eyes
until they are full of you.

I wished to scatter
a handful of the fragrance of your physical presence
over my own body,
so that it might nurture within me
a steel-like determination.
You, who left this earth too soon,
still smile quietly
in the corners of my being.

You, who never surrendered
to a long and wearying illness,
how did you hide
your pain and suffering?

I want to learn.

When those you called your own
sawed into your heart in times of sorrow,
when your wounded heart cried out in anguish,
how did you conceal your pain?

I want to know.

How can one preserve
an unwavering sense of dignity
even in the deepest deprivation?

I want to learn.

The characterless accusations
thrown at you simply because you were a woman—
my generation and I
continue to endure them even today.
Simply because we are women,
half the earth is still struggling
to be recognized as fully human.

As in your time,
the ordeal of proving oneself
before the so-called learned men
of our own surroundings
may have diminished in form,
but it has not yet ended.

Though time has passed
since you left us,
the day of dignity and livelihood
has still not fully arrived.
The exploitation of dreams of liberation
continues as before.

No, Parijat,
I have not lost—not even a little.
Neither my beloved companions nor my daughters have grown tired.

A handful of your courage, inherited by us;
a promise to claim the open sky of your revolution;
your burning longing for freedom—
all of it continues to flow endlessly within me,
becoming
an unwavering determination.